Not really an eggcellent decision
a comic dialogue
The brother is in a tizzy about his eggs.
Why is that?
Now that the summer is here and with all the flesh exposed, he has told the new girlfriend he wants an open relationship.
What has that got to do with eggs?
She likes referring to his crown jewels as eggs. “Those eggs are mine,” she said, “and no-one else’s!” She has an agricultural twist to her vocabulary.
What did the brother say?
“These eggs are free-range! They’re happiest when they’re up and down the field like a good thing!”
I see.
So she said, “In that case, the sausage is barred.” “How do you make THAT out?” he said. “Well,” she said, “if you’re going to be generous with your eggs, you can keep that thing of yours away from me!”
He wasn’t happy with that, I’d say!
Far from it. He was even less happy when she told him, on the subject of sausages and eggs, “You can forget your full Irish breakfasts, too!” “But it’s the best part of my day!” he pleaded. “And by the way, I didn’t know being monogamous was so high on your list.”
That was a risky little gambit.
“Knowing that we’re monogamous is only number 28 for me”, she said. “Not even in the top 20?” he moaned. “You men overestimate yourselves”, she said. “So what’s your top 10, then?” he asked her, the spite rising in his voice. “Erotic little things like unexpected chocolate. Ice-cream on a sunny day forecast to be rainy. YouTube videos of Italian football teams. I slow them down to admire them better. A late-night rom-com I can enjoy when you’re snoring your head off and scratching like a giant hippopotamus. ”
I’m sure that softened his cough!
He hasn’t spoken since. Not even to himself.
